Can I come without my veteran partner?

Yes. Many partners start on their own — sometimes for months — before the veteran is ready. Your experience is worth attention in its own right, not only as a support to someone else.

Are couples sessions available?

Yes. Couples work here is emotionally focused and adapted to service context: the deployments, the postings, the secrecy, and the way operational stress reshapes a relationship.

Does VAC cover family members?

In some circumstances VAC covers family therapy connected to a veteran's approved mental health condition, and there are VAC family programs and the 24/7 VAC Assistance Service at 1-800-268-7708. Your specific coverage will be checked and explained before you commit to anything.

I'm the adult child of a veteran. Is that the same thing?

It's related but distinct. Growing up around hypervigilance, unpredictable anger or emotional absence leaves its own marks, and those get worked with directly rather than treated as second-hand.

Is there group support for family members?

Yes — small closed groups for partners, spouses and adult children of veterans are forming now. Add your name to the interest list on this page and you'll be contacted first when a group that fits you opens.

Families of veterans

You've been managing the weather in your own house for years.

Reading the mood before you open the door. Keeping the kids quiet. Explaining away the cancellations. Service didn't only happen to them — you've been serving too, without a posting message or a pension.

Book a free consult General inquiries — ask a question

CAF & RCMP veterans across Canada · Virtual, or in person in Toronto

Partners of veterans often describe the same thing: a marriage that runs on vigilance. You know which subjects to avoid, which anniversaries are bad, how long the silence usually lasts.

You're allowed to need help with that, and you're allowed to need it whether or not your veteran ever books a session.

What families actually live with

The distance that arrived slowly and then became normal. The temper that appears over nothing. The drinking that everyone has agreed not to name.

Children who learned to read a face before they could read a book. A partner who's exhausted from being the emotional infrastructure for a whole household.

—Walking on eggshells and calling it 'keeping the peace'
—Loneliness inside a relationship you don't want to leave
—Guilt for being angry at someone who's clearly suffering
—Losing your own friendships, career and health to hold it together
—Secondary traumatic stress from what you've absorbed

Support for you, individually

Individual sessions focus on your nervous system, not just theirs: sleep, resentment, boundaries, and the slow re-collection of a life of your own.

This isn't coaching on how to manage your veteran better. It's your therapy.

Couples work with service in the room

Emotionally focused couples therapy, adapted for military reality. We map the cycle — pursue and withdraw, criticise and shut down — and work on the moments where connection is still possible.

Intimacy, trust after separations, parenting under stress and post-release role changes all get addressed plainly.

Adult children of veterans

If you grew up in a house organised around someone else's operational stress, you may carry hypervigilance, conflict-avoidance or a hair-trigger of your own — plus complicated love for a parent who was both present and unreachable.

That's worth its own work, and it doesn't require your parent's participation or permission.

If you're worried about their safety

If you believe your veteran is at immediate risk, call 911. The Suicide Crisis Helpline is available 24/7 at 988, and the VAC Assistance Service at 1-800-268-7708 is available to veterans and their families around the clock.

Family group support

You shouldn't be the only one in the room who gets it.

Small closed groups for partners, spouses and adult children of CAF and RCMP veterans — people who already know what it's like to read a mood before opening a door. Groups form as demand builds. Put your name down and you'll hear first, with no obligation to take a place when it's offered.

Get told when a family group opens

Family and partner groups run in small closed cohorts, so places are limited and they fill from this list first. Tell me what you'd want to be in the room for.

Full name

How would you like us to reply?

Province or territory

Phone (optional)

Your veteran's VAC approval status

Their service background (optional)

Groups you'd want

Partners & spouses of veterans groupLiving with PTSD at home — skills groupAdult children of veterans groupParenting alongside operational stressGrief & loss in the military family

Anything I should know (optional)

Your information comes straight to us and is used only to contact you about groups.

Book yourself in

Book a consult for yourself.

A short call to say what it's been like in your house. You don't need their permission and you don't need to have it all worded properly first.

FAQ

Questions people ask first

Can I come without my veteran partner?: Yes. Many partners start on their own — sometimes for months — before the veteran is ready. Your experience is worth attention in its own right, not only as a support to someone else.
Are couples sessions available?: Yes. Couples work here is emotionally focused and adapted to service context: the deployments, the postings, the secrecy, and the way operational stress reshapes a relationship.
Does VAC cover family members?: In some circumstances VAC covers family therapy connected to a veteran's approved mental health condition, and there are VAC family programs and the 24/7 VAC Assistance Service at 1-800-268-7708. Your specific coverage will be checked and explained before you commit to anything.
I'm the adult child of a veteran. Is that the same thing?: It's related but distinct. Growing up around hypervigilance, unpredictable anger or emotional absence leaves its own marks, and those get worked with directly rather than treated as second-hand.
Is there group support for family members?: Yes — small closed groups for partners, spouses and adult children of veterans are forming now. Add your name to the interest list on this page and you'll be contacted first when a group that fits you opens.

Keep reading

You've held the line long enough on your own.

One short call, free, and no obligation. Ask your questions there — or send one through first if you'd rather.